Check Out My Other Site; Minority Gamer Report

Hey everyone.

Just wanna quickly tell you all about my other site/sorta blog I've been working on: Minority Gamer Report.

It's been active for awhile now and here I discuss all game-related stuff. I do gameplay videos, original videos on some shit, write articles, include guest writers/contributors, and I even have a video of my Dad's reactions to Mortal Kombat fatalities. So check it out if you're into gaming.

Also look at my YouTube as well. I post some gameplay videos on there every week or so.

Peace.

Happy Halloween Week!

Yo, so this is Halloween week!

(I don't think the term "Halloween Week" is a thing, but I'm making it one, so there.)

One thing that a lot of folks are doing this year (and by folks, I mean stupid White people) is dressing up in Blackface in order to "dress up as their favorite character" who happens to be Black.

We saw this a while back with the White chick who was trying to be Michonne from The Walking Dead

This "stupid White people in blackface" was more recently done on a larger scale by UCLA students at a frat party this month which basically ended up being a direct copy of the 3rd act of the movie Dear White People, without any of the intentional irony of a feature film written as a satire. 

Even more recently, last week, an idiot teacher (!!!) in Alabama dressed in Blackface to pretend to be Kanye West. Hi apology included one of the following:

Of course, other White people were quick to defend this guy, such as this lovely example...

Very cute... OK, so first off, the biggest difference is that, in the movie White Chicks (left), they were actually undercover as... White chicks. Same thing as RDJ character in Tropic Thunder (who was a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude). It's part of a PLOT... In a MOVIE. This teacher one (right) isn't. Also, why do you have to be in Black face to be Kanye tho? Why not just wear his clothes? Stupid.

Then there's, oh I don't know, THE ENTIRE RACIST/DEGRADING HISTORY OF BLACKFACE. I won't go into it (because if you don't know the concept, you are a moron and I'm not wasting my time with you), but just because I believe in education and knowing one's history, please spool through this very imformative website here: http://black-face.com/
There is also wikipedia, and a thing called "basic knowledge".

Any-who, here's my own Halloween costume for 2015:

Edward Nygma, aka The Riddler. Pretty good, right? Now notice the lack of Whiteface I used.


Be safe everyone. Peace.

To All You Pretentious People on Social Media who talk shit but can't back it up...

So I got made today at this dude online who kept posting fake/clickbait articles online, as is the new trend to do. After posting multiple confirmed sources that proved what the guy was claiming was 100% and from a 100% fake website, the guy still kept raving on and on, so I finally ended up this long ass response and bounced. I think this will now be my permanent response to pretentious keyboard warriors:

The funny thing is that everyone that's like you always thinks that THEY have all the answers themselves. That it's all about them and THEY are the ones to "bring the knowledge to the people". That THEY are the ones who found that key tiny piece of info that everyone one missed. That THEY are right and we are wrong, because THEY found something random online and it makes them feel special and more enlightened than everyone else. Then when one of "us" finds something that proves what they find to be incorrect or inconclusive it takes all that special-ness and superiority away and I bet that doesn't feel to good, does it? So what do people like you do? They ignore it and press on, playing sociopathic mental gymnastics to try to keep their false superiority over "us" so that they can keep their smug self-satisfaction.

Guess what? You're not special. You're not some kind of journalistic genius. You're not a detective. You don't even have the tenacity to filter the "info" you take in, unless it doesn't fit with your false conceived notions. You're just confirming what you want to hear. Having an internet subscription doesn't make you a fucking doctor, scientist, or philosopher, If you were anything special you'd be making money doing it or would at the very least not be that arguing bullshit on fucking FACEBOOK with another insignificant person who you don't even know and will never meet in person or will ever have any sort of real relationship with in real life outside of a broadband connection.

You're just a normal fool like everyone else on FB who isn't making a real difference in the world other than tweeting and texting bullshit to fool themselves into thinking they are important. When you realize that, you'll be a much healthier human being.

Go ride a bike or jog or something or sign up for Greenpeace.

New Star Wars trailer got me happy.

Hey everyone,

It's been awhile and I haven't really touched this blog in a long time (check out my other site I've been messing around with: minoritygamerreport.com). Been doing a lot of soul searching, spacing out, whacking off, twiddling my thumbs and other useless stuff since my last post way back in January (which looks like was another Star Wars post). I'm too lazy to do anything else productive right now, so why not write some bullshit on here, right?

Anyway, I'm sure most of you have seen the latest Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer that debuted today during the NFL (or if you are a sports-illiterate nerdy nigga like me, save for some Basketball, you just caught it online). If you haven't seen the trailer, go get into a car and drive off a cliff. If you are not near a cliff, don't have a car and/or license, then find some alternate method to remove yourself from Earth. You are wasting your life and it is too late for you. Leave. Now. Anyway, anyway, the trailer was AMAZING, right????!!!! Holy shit-skittles!

YES! Just... yes! Hollywood needs to do more trailers like this. Keep in mind that this is the "final" trailer for the movie, and we still haven't had much of the film spoiled... at all! The trailer gives you just enough to make you jizz gallons through the denim of your jeans and cry like a 2-year-old. In an age where movie trailers show basically the entire film (See Terminator Genisys) this is a great breath of fresh air. I can't wait!

Now there's all this dumb shit online about stupid racist idiots saying that the will "boycott" the film because of their being a Black man and a female (who is White, FYI) as the lead characters. I'm not even going to say anymore about this, because it's stupid. It's beyond stupid. I hope the guy who tweeted that gets gonorrhea and burns in Hell. That doesn't really bother me though, because it's so stupid that it's not even worth being bothered by.

What really bothers me is this dude in one of my Facebook's groups who wrote "the Black Jedi!" in referenece to his excitment over seeing Finn's character in the trailer. Dude... just say "Jedi". No one said "oh look! It's the White Jedi!" in any of the other films. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit. Plus, we got Mace.

Mace Windu's Death in Revenge of the Sith is a Metaphor for the American Welfare System.

... or not. 

I don't know...

I'm just saying that when the only powerful Black dude in the entire galaxy gets electrocuted by an old White guy, has his arm cut off by a young White guy, and then gets thrown out a window AND no one ever talks about it ever again afterwards... it GOTS to symbolize something, right? 

Happy Hump Day!

Here's an image to get you through the second half of the week:

Batman Arkham Knight gameplay trailer

So I just watched this today and I'm very angry, because now I have to wash my pants.

Movie Hipsters

Hey there everyone. Time to jump on that old soapbox again.

I've been noticing a trend that's been going on on the internet, and that trend is "Movie Hipsters". For those of you that don't internet movie shit (and you'd be one of the lucky ones), "Movie Hipsters" are the types of people that find any reason they can to dislike a critically acclaimed movie in order to seem cool/smarter than they really are. They also tend to hate any/all remakes that come out, regardless of quality, and they try to make themselves look cool by saying that the original version, regardless of quality, is better because it was more "fun". That's what they always say; "more fun".

I HATE BURTON'S BATMAN

Hello peeps,

Let you in on two little know facts about myself: A) I'm a huge movie buff, and B) I'm a monsterous Batman freak (Ladies please, please try to keep your panties on). I also tend to be a snob when it comes to both of these subjects. I'm one of those assholes where if you ask me how I felt about I certain movie I begin my reply with "Well it started off strong, but once it hit that 3rd act blah blah blah, character archs, blah blah..." before going into a long-winded, grammatically incorrect, rant for about 15 minutes, of which you probably/hopefully tuned out after I said "3rd act". Discussion with me about Batman are similar except worse because then I start quoting lines from the freaking comic books like they're Bible scriptures (not to say that they aren't) to people that couldn't care less and have no idea who the hell Killer Moth even is (nor should they). So when the discussion of Batman movies is brought to my attention, I tend to be, to put it extra mildly, very opinionated.

Dear modern day rappers

Dear modern day rappers,

Please stop taking older and more talented rappers' lyrics and throwing them into your songs in order to try to make yourself seem more clever than you actually are. It's lazy, annoying, and just ends up proving that you can't write for crap. Please stop. Now. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Karlton W. Hester

PS: Try to make some better beats that don't all sound like the same shit too. Cheers!

The 10 Most Important Things I Learned from 2013

2013 is dead. Long live 2013! 

Now that we have a fresh new year (2014 for those of you that lost count) to look forward to, it is very important to reflect on what we learned from the previous year and apply it to the future in order to not make the same dumb-ass mistakes we all made in '13 and keep climbing that treacherous hill of life with new-found strength.

So here's the 10 most important things I learned from 2013:


10. Unhappiness is a huge waste of time. Keep doing other crap instead and you'll avoid it.

9. It is very possible to kill people with kindness while, at the same time, not being a little sissy pussy bitch about it.

8. No one owes you shit and, even if they do, they will most likely not give it to you. Be your own person, work hard, be nice to everyone, and you'll get where you want to be.

7. The "bros" in "bros before hoes" can be females as well. 

6. Miley Cyrus contributes absolutely nothing positive to society.

5. Discipline and empathy are the two most underrated and underused things ever. 

4. Working out solves most problems. 

3. Put the pussy on the chainwax. Always.

2. It's better to give than receive. This applies to both Christmas presents and sex. 

1. Laughter really is the best medicine. Drink it in, mothafuckas!



Enjoy 2014 everyone! Cheers!

6 Most Annoying Things I've Learned After Living 7 Years in San Francisco

I'm not a world-weary traveler by any means, but I've been around a little. I'm originally from Staten Island (NY), lived upstate for decade, and then moved to California where I've lived all over from Santa Cruz to Los Angeles and San Francisco, which I've been at for the longest. All the places I've been have their pros and cons (NY has great people but shitty-ass weather and LA has sometimes shitty people but excellent weather, etc) but none of these places hold a candle to the weirdness that I've discovered while living in San Francisco. The first couple years I spent going to college here I thought I was losing my mind, or was just a shitty human being who failed at life, because stuff that SFers found normal and cool I always found dumb, gross or illogical. It wasn't until I started taking occasional breaks from the city, as well as chatting it up with other transplants that had the exact same issues I did with "The City by the Bay", that I finally stumbled upon a magnificent discovery: SAN FRANCISCO IS FUCKING WEIRD!

And not that "kinda cool weird" feeling you get when watching an episode of Comedy Bang Bang. I mean the overly annoyingly annoying weird that makes you want to gouge out your eyeballs, rip off your ears, and cut out your tongue so that you can't see, hear, or speak of it ever again. You know that horrible student film you made in college that you never ever want anyone to see because the acting was terrible and the plot didn't make any sense? That's San Francisco.

And with that, here's the 6 most annoying Things I've learned after living 7 Years in San Francisco:

1) Any form of transportation straight up sucks (that includes walking)

When it comes to how I get around, like most people in SF, I usually alternate between three things; walking, driving, and taking public trans (MUNI, for those you not from here). The reason why I switch between these things, without relying on one or the other too much is because... well... relying on any one of these too much would drive the average person completely bat-shit insane (which basically explains the entire Tenderloin).

You'd think SF would be a great place to walk; it's a very compact city that has a lot of NYC influences, shops are typically right around the corner from where you live, and the scenery is unquestionably beautify around here. The reason why it sucks ass is because there's dog shit, used condoms, and human shit literally sprinkled around on every single block. It's not even off to the side or anything, it's literally plopped in the middle of the sidewalks to the point where you have to long jump over it. I'm sure there's some shoe cleaner company that makes a mint off of this city.

Driving in San Francisco is a private hell in itself, because everyone drives slow (thus making rush hours just as bad as Los Angeles), there's no place to park, and the meter people hand out tickets like they're Jolly Ranchers and it's Halloween. Plus the roads are unkempt, way too narrow on two-way streets, and don't make any logical sense from a city planning perspective. You can't make left turns anywhere, roads change names without warning, and some street-signs are flat out missing. That's all I'm going to say about driving in SF, because it's already pissing me off just thinking about it.

And then there's SF's famous MUNI system, which NEVER runs on time, breaks down twice a day (always during peak hours too) and closes at 11:45 on weekends basically diving you the choice to either give yourself a nice little DUI/car death or pay $40 for a cab where the driver "forgets" how to use both his GPS and credit card machine. The city decided to make the Simpsons' Springfield decision to waste all their spare money to make a shitty shuttle that goes from downtown to Chinatown (which, if you're ever visited, you know is basically walking distance) instead of modernizing their entire public trans system, which as of 2013, has received record-breaking complaints from it's citizens over it's hilarious inefficiency and poor management.

2)There's zero logic when it comes to the dating scene

=HOT!!!      

 =Ugly as a paper bag full of turds that you had to pay 10 cents for. 

I'm just gonna be straight up and say that I have a very hard time getting a date in this city. Like even one date. I'm not a shy dude either, I ask girls out all the time and am pretty chatty/friendly/confident by nature, but it never gets me anywhere. This is a problem I have never had anywhere else in any other place except for SF. Sure, I've been dumped/rejected before, many times in fact, but not even being able to get ONE date from girls that I know 100% are single (and straight) is something that I've found exclusively to be a huge factor in SF.

At the risk of sounding like I masturbate to my of reflection (only on Thursday mornings, for the record), I'm not a "bad looking" guy. In fact, I'm pretty decent looking. I also am in good shape, tall, have a good steady job, try to keep myself well-groomed, and am, in general, a well-mannered upstanding contributing member of society (despite that all my blog suggesting otherwise). I've never cheated on anyone nor intentionally done anyone any harm. I'd totally fuck me (a lot of people even tell me on a daily basis that I should).

So when I try to get a date from a girl I like in San Francisco I ALWAYS get one of two responses: Ether she says "I don't know you well enough as a friend to go on a date with you" (isn't the "gettimg to know you" thing the whole part of the first date? I don't want to date my sister, thanks...) or she says "I'm sorry, but I'm going through a lot right now and just want to concentrate on me right now" (I'm asking you to dinner, not giving you a ring. Just take the damn free meal!). Every. Single. Time. Normally when I get rejected in other cities it's usually an acceptable "you're not my type" or a even more acceptable "fuck no", but it's the fact the all SF ladies give similar answers is what really weird me out.  And the WEIRDEST this is that this isn't exclusive to your's truly either. Every single guy (and even some women I know that aren't from here but are friends with girls who are) I talk to that is single, who is well mannered, decent looking, and not from SF, tells me they encounter the exact same problem on the regular from here. And these are guys that were getting dates left in right in other cities.

And the craziest thing happens when you take the time to observe who is actually getting dates in San Francisco and doesn't have this problem. Seriously, if you live here, just go outside for a couple hours and see what couples look like around here: All the most beautiful, accomplished girls, are always with the most homeless looking, uneducated, rude, ugly, out of shape, smelly, lazy, immature guys you'll ever see (I'm platonic friends with many of these ladies, so I'm not just pulling shit out of my ass here). And I'm not exaggerating because I'm bitter (I actually find the whole situation hilarious), that's actually the types of dudes around here girls find to be on a Chaninng Tatum level of hotness here. And these dudes they hook up with aren't a "beauty is skin deep" thing either; most are unemployed, alcoholics, cheaters, beaters, or just plain bad human beings. The worst part is, the girls that date these guys, don't think there's anything abnormal about how they treat them. The dude cheats on them or get arrested several times, SF girls be like "boys will be boys" and just continue on with the relationship with Mr. Evil Joe Dirt. And when the girl finally wises up and breaks up with the guy... The just go and and date the next guy they find that looks and acts exactly like the last one, thus the cycle continues.

And it isn't even like these guys have game or anything either. You see that drunk off his ass slob that came to the bar alone, instigates 4 fights per bar, can barely form words and dropped the last 2 drinks that were served to him? Well that is the guy that always pulls mad bitches on a Friday night. That's like if a 100% less suave and 100% more drunk Pierce Bronson never cleaned himself up when he great his hair out in Die Another Day and still managed to pull 6 Halle Berry's. I mean, I might as well quit my job, stop bathing, shaving, and live on the streets if I wanted to be a be pimp in this city.

Speaking of living on the streets...      

3)The housing situation is basically an extortion scheme

I'm very happy to be living in the place I'm at, because I've seen firsthand what SF's housing situation is like. My place isn't the Ritz Carlton (Hey! That's my name too... but lame because it's not spelled with a K. K's are cool!) the shower pressure is shit, the lights flicker on and off, and shit's falling apart all the time, BUT it's basically the playboy mansion compared to what else is out there for under $2,000 a month.
Take a quick look at these postings on Craigslist:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/apa/

Notice a trend? All the affordable places are either in horrible neighborhoods, have a HUGE list of Nazi rules (like no overnight guests and no cooking), or are basically the size of a closet. And the worst part is, people literally line up bid on these small ass rooms, sometimes even offering more money for them than the initial price, because affordable housing is so scarce to the point of paying $800 just to life in a room that looks like this:

 (In case you can't tell, the shoe rack is the head of the bed)

4)Everything in the city is strictly catered to the hipster crowed to the point where it's ridiculous

Everything in SF caters to a specific crowed: Those that hate the mainstream. This wouldn't necessarily be a terrible thing, but when EVERY place is like then, then the whole thing is a total oxymoron, because you're just making the weird and obscure into... the new mainstream. Now I've never considered myself to be associated with any specific crowed in general, I hate listening to Drake, but I dig Kanye West (recovering gay fish dating a Hobbit and all), and listen to a lot of Earth Wind and Fire. I just like what I like. I don't go out of my way to be a part of a certain culture. So when I go out to a bar, event, or other social setting, I get a little annoyed when every single place goes out of it was to cater strictly to people that are overly obsessed with banjos, wine, vinyl, strictly college only sports teams, and who love talking about ex Presidents and country music. That's seriously 90% of what you'll find if you go to a 4+ star reviewed bar that you found on Yelp. Every social spot is so ridiculously non mainstream that I am tempted to lock myself in a closet and blast horrible Top-40 Beiber music until my eardrums exploded just for a change of pace.

Also, no one is ever on the dace floor at these places for some reason. It's like "why didn't you just drink at home?". People tend to not socialize with other people unless they already know them, and the whole atmosphere in all these, supposedly social, spots is always very alienating. I went to a Lil' Jon DJ event at a very popular SF club last Saturday and almost everyone in the crowd was just standing around, looking board. No one was even getting crunk (which is basically the entire point in being in Lil' Jon's presence)! Sad...just... just sad.   

5)The weather has A.D.D.

 (SF in July)

If you venture outside on an average day in SF, you'll notice two things; 1. There's a totally different climate in each district you go to, and 2. each area's climate changes ever other hour. And I'm not talking about it being warm during the day and then cooling off at night, I'm talking it being 50 degrees in the morning, 80 degrees mid morning, 40 degrees in the early afternoon, 70 degrees at lunchtime, and then and continuous alteration between 50 and 30 degrees with wind from early evening until midnight. And every other day after that is just other random shit.  And if you drive to Oakland or San Jose (which aren't far from SF... at all) you get normal Northern California weather. It's like God's retarded brother Mickey, who's also addicted to sugar and paint, is solely in charge of this city's climate.

Now, you might be wondering at this point "Why they hell do YOU live here if you have so many issues with San Francisco?". Well I'm glad you asked that, homie, because that brings me to the final thing I find annoying about living in this city...

6)You'll end up staying here because it's also too damn easy to find a good, well-paying job compared to the cities that you actually want to live in

You don't see our McDonald employees protesting as much as the ones in NYC. You know why? Minimum wage here is going to be $11 probably within the next year. That's why. It most cities, you work one shitty-ass job for years and years, struggling to get by. Here?

Well let me just use myself as an example; I went from making minimum wage at a Nike store, to working at a condo complex, to working in sales at a start-up company, to making a respectable salary with benefits working in the financial district. All within a year. I didn't hunt down managers, I didn't have any connections, I didn't fuck my way to the top. All I did was keep updating my resume on Indeed.com and applied to whatever looked like a better job I currently had, maybe once or twice a week, until I finally ended up at the one I wanted in the first place.

I would rap this article up with something insightful to take away from my latest rant... but nope.

You can stop reading now.

Black and white comics

To quote Peter Griffin; "You know what really grinds my gears?" 

I can find tons of websites where people still complain about this:

Comics Perry White (Superman)

Movie Perry White

Comics Nick Fury (Marvel Comics)






















Movie (and the comics for over a decade prior) Nick Fury

Comics Kingpin (Daredevil)

Movie Kingpin

But I can't find any websites where people still complain about this:

Comics Baxter Stockman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

TV Baxter Stockman

Comics Fox (Wanted)

Movie Fox

Comics Terry Fitzgerald (Spawn)

Movie Terry Fitzgerald

Societal Black Memory Loss

Hey what's up y'all?

Been kind of obscure for awhile I know, but I'm back here, where you like it or not, with a brand new post:

I set some time aside to talk about something that has been bothering me recently, and by recently I mean always. That something is how "Blackness" somehow instantly creates memory loss in our society. What do I mean? I mean that most things/events/etc. that garners sympathy, admiration, or recognition from Black people is instantly and conveniently "forgotten" by society as a whole. I'll give some examples:

The American economic crisis:
Who does everyone blame? Obama. But, conveniently everyone has completely forgotten that it was during the previous President's term that the stock market crashed (If you don't believe my half-black ass, look it up... or watch this speech Bush made addressing the crash during his term http://youtu.be/YsDmPEeurfA). And yet who gets all the "impeach" signs made up for him and pictures that compare him to Hitler (...really?), Obama. It's like blaming the janitor for a giant turd someone else left on the floor.

The reinvention of the Super Hero genre:
Talk to most comic fans, read most articles, etc.; What is the movie that everyone claims reinvented the Super Hero genre for the new generation? 2000's X-Men. X-Men is the film that everyone praises for creating the template for deep, dark, intelligent, and gritty Super Hero flicks. Seriously, ask anyone and that's the movie they'll say. Seriously go ask someone right now or do a Google search. I'll wait...
...
...
OK, so X-Men is undoubtedly the first of the new wave of Super Hero flicks, right? As a matter of fact, as Lex Luthor would say in my least favorite film of all time: WRONG! It was 1998's Blade (also a Marvel comic), an awesome film that is also arguably a better film than X-men (mostly because of this line: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXhKzY0BKwY). The movie also didn't get any credit for utilizing bullet time a full year before it was made famous in The Matrix. Do you ever hear anyone EVER praise Blade for basically recreating the comic book/Super Hero genre? Nope.

Lando Calrissian
You ever hear anyone praising that dude for blowing up the 2nd Death Star? Nope. They only remember that he betrayed Han.

So that's my rant for today. Cheers!

PS: During the whole gay marriage thing (maybe you heard of it, not sure if it got enough news coverage... sarcasm), this MUCH BIGGER ISSUE was completely ignored by the media, the repeal of anti-discrimination laws against voting minorities in the South, or Jim Crow laws.: http://www.upworthy.com/civil-rights-defenders-won-this-fight-in-1965-this-justice-explains-how-its-been-undone-in-2013?c=ufb1

Happy 4th! And remember, buttholes and firecrackers don't mix.

Superbowl

Superbowl is today (GO NINERS!) and while I'm interested in the game, I'm also interested in some of the movie trailers we'll be seeing. I'll post some on here if I get a chance (and if I'm not too wasted). Cheers!

GIRL TRANSLATOR

I love women. Everything down from the way they talk to the way they walk fills me with a deep joy and some of that good 'ol fashion American horniness (restraining orders pending, I'm sure). Now girls, unfortunately, are a different story. And yes there is a huge difference between women and girls. HUGE, I say! Don't get me wrong, what I'm talking about has absolutely nothing to do with age (though I am strictly sticking to talking about the 18 and up crowd, cause you know... eww). The difference between women and girls is the sense of maturity and class that they present (or, in most "girls" cases, lack). Women tend to know what they want and how to get it. Girls have absolutely no idea what they want...ever, but expect everyone else to and give it to them whenever they want it...even though they don't know what "it" is. Make sense? No? Good, then we're both on the same page.

Women are hard enough to understand, but girls are damn near impossible. So since I have nothing better to do with my time right now (and, let's face it, if you're reading this, neither do you) I thought I'd compile a list of examples of key girl phrases and translate their real meaning for you that I have learned over many years through trial and error (mostly error) up to the infant stages of the year 2013:

Key Girl Phrases v. Actual Meaning:

• We should just be friends = I want to keep you around as a shoulder to cry on, someone to carry my stuff, and be an emergency penis in case I can't find a better one when I'm drunk and horny.

• I don't care about money=I care about money

• I'll think about it = No

• Sorry, but I'm not ready for a relationship = Sorry, but I'm not ready for a relationship with you.

• It's not you, it's me = It's you. It's so you. You really suck.

• Stop = More. Faster. Harder.

• That is so interesting = OK, that's enough out of you. Let me talk about me now.

• We totally should hang out sometime = Meh... Maybe I'll see you again... Or not. Don't really care.

• We shouldn't do this. = I want you to bend me over and forcibly **** my ****ing brains out. Don't you dare ask for permission. Come on, It's not rape until I scream "RAPE!".

Sigh...

What the HELL, New 52???

Hey readers (all 1 of you),

This will be my first post in ages as well as my first post of 2013. Hooray!! (Applaud)

This subject is a little dated, cause the issue came out months and months ago... last year... But I'm talking about it right now. So deal.

Anywho, this is in regards to DC comics' New 52 Batman Annual #1. It features a story with Mr. Freeze, reintroducing him and providing him with a "fresh" new origin story for the New 52.

(Excellent art. The story is another story...)

Long story short, it pissed me off. And me being a ridiculous Batman fanatic, I got to blog about it. I actually liked most of the New 52 Batman stories (Aside from what they did with Tim Drake and Harley Quinn), but this one made me want to drop-kick a toddler (if I was just slightly ticked off, it would only be kindergartner).

(Spoilers ahead.)

OK, first things first. Ever since Paul Dini reinvented Mr. Freeze in "Heart of Ice" of Batman: The Animated Series, the character has gone on to be, arguably, the most dynamic and sympathetic character in that Batman universe. Mr. Freeze represented the pure moral dilemma of Batman: Vengeance vs. Justice. All he wanted was to be reunited with his wife, which he sacrificed everything for, and that was what made his character stand apart from a Joker or a Two-Face. He was a pure grey area. A villain where the only thing that separated him from Batman, was the fact that he felt that the ends justified the means. Every crime, death, or mayhem that Mr. Freeze committed was in service to his beloved wife, which made him a deeper character and one that we, as an audience, could relate to. Unfortunately, this is one of the things that the "New 52" has completely done away with (or "shat on" if you will).

The story in Batman Annual #1 changes Mr. Freeze from a sympathetic madman to nothing more than just another psychopath. The issue begins with Freeze recalling time with his mother as a child, but quickly moves to an escape from Arkham Asylum. The story seems to be going great at first; Freeze does some cool (pun not intended) ice moves, kills a bunch of guards and goes on a crusade to kill Bruce Wayne (not Batman), now blaming him for separating him from his frozen wife Nora. Seems like the good 'ol Freeze, right? That's what it seems like until the issue jumps the shark. Like 3 sharks. Great whites on steroids.

As more flashbacks keep popping in-between Freeze rampaging his way to Bruce, getting weapons from The Penguin, beating the crap out of Robin and Nightwing, and basically dealing out a heaping dose of murder to everyone that isn't a reoccurring character, we eventually come to a twist ending. And what a twist in is.

The twist is: there is no Nora. Mr. Freeze was never married. It is all in his head. He is just a complete delusional wacko with mommy issues. He keeps thinking random cryo-frozen people are his imaginary wife and starts a scenario to keep coming back again and again, trying to "save" them and killing anyone in his way. He's not a sad frozen loving husband trying to save his beloved wife, he's just a frozen nut. So basically, Dini's complex version of the character got shatter on.

After Freeze is arrested by Batman, the issues ends showing Freeze as a child with his mother again, who is now crippled and stricken with Alzheimer's after falling into a frozen lake, and putting her out of her misery, but drowning her back at the said lake. Apparently explaining his homicidal maniac behavior in the story. Wow...

Thanks "New 52" DC... You just took a complex, excellent, tragic villain with an original and interesting back story and broke him down to just another cheap Norman Bates rip-off. Which is also an insult to Norman Bates. So you just shat on both Paul Dini, Batman, and Hitchcock with this issue. Thanks again.

 

More to come...

Hello my blog peeps (All 0 to 2 of you...) just letting ya'll know that I plan to have more updates here soon. My life has become very complicated lately as I just moved to San Francisco (but for some reason I'm still straight) and got a new job. Been real busy, but things are starting to smooth out, so I should have some new biracial, geeky, and/or angry truth to lay down for you people soon. Peace out. ;P

The new The Dark Knight Rises Trailer is here!

So stoked for this film. Nolan is my favorite director at the moment and The Dark Knight is my favorite film of all time. Can't get hyped enough for this. I really wanna check out The Avengers this Friday, too, but that feels like more of a fun action packed popcorn flick, compared to this deep engrossing swan song for an epic trilogy. Also, to my fellow Batman nerds out there, it looks like they're taking bits and pieces from both the Knightfall and No Man's Land story arcs, arguably two of the best Batman stories ever! And...


Possible Spoiler:



Is it just me, or at 00:30, does it appear that Bruce may be sitting in a wheelchair...

End Spolier.

Can't wait. I only wish that Nola would stick around to make just another film or two to fix Riddler, Mr. Freeze, and Poison Ivy too after Schumacher butchered them (IMO Burton also butchered Penguin, but I'm not gonna start that flame war... whoops). Oh well, at least we got to see the proper versions of Two-Face and Bane finally. July can't come soon enough! 

You Know You're a Geek When...

Being a geek is way more socially accepted now that it used to be just a few years ago. Unfortunately, there are still some people out there that have yet to embrace their inner geekyness and, instead, are stuck in endless denial. Well, to help these poor bastards come clean and release themselves to the shiny sea that is Geekdom, I have created a list of things that make you, without a Storm Shadow of a doubt (see what it did there?), a genuine grade A Geek. So, if you have done any of the following, relax, let go, and go watch a Joss Whedon show or something. And yes, I myself have done everything on this list at least once and am damn proud of it. So...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A GEEK WHEN...

...you're more interested in what's going on in the current comics than the current world events.


...you get pissed at "Hanging with Friends" for not recognizing "Jawas" as a noun.


...you answer "right after I get to a save point" whenever a friend calls you to hang out, but keep playing a little more anyway. 

...you walk for longer in Skyrim than you have ever walked in real life.

...anytime "The Final Countdown" plays, you instantly have to stop whatever you're doing and either intensely sing along or start quoting Arrested Development for the song's entire duration.

...you hesitate spending over $15 on food, but you instantly drop $20 on a t-shirt with a hybrid Wu-tang/Batman symbol you saw online. 

...you're mad about the ending to Mass Effect 3.

...you confide in other geeks about how much the ending to Mass Effect 3 sucked and bond over your mutual feelings. 

...you actually know who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman.

...you have an hour long PS3 v. X360 debate on Facebook and actually bust out documented facts and charts to back it up.

...when someone asks you what you're doing tonight, you reply "the same thing we do every night", thinking you're clever. 

...any girl that tells you she plays video games suddenly becomes 5x hotter. 10x if it's a shooter.

...you get ALL the jokes in Community.

...you go pay to see a movie you aren't too crazy about just to see the trailer for the movie you are excited for, even though it will be online eventually. 

...you consciously boycott anything made by Joel Schumacher.

...you compile a list of things that make you a geek.

"So... what are you exactly?" PART 2

So a friend of mine recently brought this video to my attention:

This sums up my last post pretty well. Ha Ha.  I've gotten every single one of these at least twice. Thanks to the people that made this! Keep fighting the good fight.

"So... What are you exactly?"

So one of the many awkward about being biracial is that it's kind of a pain in the ass to introduce yourself to someone new. This is mainly because the question that usually first comes up is: "So, what ethnicity are you, exactly?" (there are different, more common ways people ask that question, but this is the nicer, more socially conscious version). Now, if you're most half-black, half-white people (i.e. Halle Berry, Beyonce, President Obama), you can usually get away with just saying "I'm black", because most black and white people look mostly black. It's cool, because it's a quick, simple answer, and you can move forward and move on to a much more interesting subjects, because, quite frankly, speaking about topic of "race/ethnicity" almost always ends up becoming annoyingly awkward or argumentative, unless both people in said conversation are of the exact same race (from personal experience, at least). The same thing happens with topics of conflicting religions, sports teams, video game consoles, or James Bond actors. No good can come of talking about any of these things for extended periods of time..

So when you're a biracial dude, or half-black, half-white, and your appearance doesn't particularly lean towards either of the two ethnicities that you are (i.e. Vin Diesel, The Rock, or yours truly), things can get a little hairy when racially identifying yourself to other people. Especially when you're part white, because that adds yet another annoying part of the identifying process, like "are you Italian, German, Irish, etc"? It turns into you having to speak a very long and weird run-on sentence to someone you barely know. And it gets a little more irritating every time you have to do it.

Personally, I probably could try to get away with just saying "I'm black" and leave it as that, quickly changing the subject to something like how retarded the Twilight movies are (something neutral that we can all see eye-to-eye on), but then said person would most likely pause the riveting conversation about lame movies to ask "hey, if you're black then why do you have extremely light skin and green eyes?" (or they say, "you're so well spoken", but I usually just leave the room after that... unless I'm trying to get laid, but that's another topic) and then the conversation becomes awkward again. So then I have to explain how "I'm actually black and white, with a little german (still not 100% sure about that) and native american splashed in". After I say that, the other guy or gal usually stairs blankly at me for a few seconds processing the weird mixture I just said (not that I blame them) and says either "oh..." followed up with an either longer pause or says "wow, what's that like?".

So, basically, the response to my awkward explanation of why I look the way I do is just as awkward as the explanation yourself, especially when they say "what's that like", because, I mean, what do you say to that? I usually just say "Its cool", because I really want this conversation to move onto something more interesting than my complexion and so I can stop feeling like a piece of lame art at a museum. Though the actual honest answer to that question for me would be "It's cool, until someone like you asks me 'what's that like?', then it's annoying as F**K and makes me lose my train of thought. What ethnicity are you?" I'd probably have no friends and be a virgin if I went with the latter response though.

Really, I just wish we, as a society would stop putting such a huge importance on race and, instead, would just focus on people as...just people. I'll admit, even I do the same thing every once in awhile (yes, I'm a giant hypocrite... Sorry) when I meet someone new, but it's just because the subject of "race/ethnicity" is engraved so far into my mind, in ALL our minds, that I/we can't help it. And I think that's a shame.

On the other hand, "Hey, guess what ethnicity I am!" could be an excellent ice breaker at parties.

Student Strikes

So recently, I temporarily moved back in with my father (NEVER do that), after 6 years of being on my own, in order to save some money while I look for a better job. My dad is a college professor and today we have our annual "student protest" on campus. This is where a bunch of students gather together and block off the entrance of campus (aka my way back home) in order to fight the high rise of tuition fees they are forced to pay. These protests usually last a full day or two.


Let me just be straight up with this. I think these "protests" are dumb. VERY dumb. One day of blocking the entrance to a college doesn't prove anything to anyone except that you are annoying and unemployed (which could also describe me, but at least I'm not messing with people's livelihoods). It's a waste of everyone's time and it just serves to make wannabe hippies and bored cops feel better about themselves without actually changing anything. 


Now before you all start hating on me let me say this: I'm a very liberal guy. I'm also a recent college graduate, myself. I paid my own way through school, so I understand how crappy these fees are. They're ridiculous and they keep getting worse. The only thing probably more outlandish as tuition costs is the price of gas these days (seriously, $4.50 per gallon? Come on, Obama. I thought we was homies).  


The problem is that these kids are not thinking the right way. The only way to hurt the fat-cats that are in charge of Universities is to hit them where it hurts: Their wallet. Here's a suggestion on what you crazy kids should do if you REALLY ACTUALLY want to make a difference with your protest (write this down): Drop out of school for a semester. Collectively. The school will then lose TONS of money from this and will be forced to accommodate to the students' demands. 


Sounds simple, right? Well... maybe you students should do it. And faculty, y'all should do the same thing. Stop teaching for a semester the same time the students drop out. One semester is enough to hurt school cash flow and cause change. Blocking the entrance to a school does not. Plus its dumb and makes you look like a douche.

Assasin's Creed 3 reveal

Glad to see a person of color staring in a video game, which almost never happens. Only two games I remember, in recent memory, where I've played as someone other than a white person or a talking animal are Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Prey. Kinda messed up when you think about it. Makes me feel a slight bit better about movies these days...

This link is via ign.com
http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/121/1219789p1.html

Ethnically bilingual

This sketch from Key & Peele is hilarious and I love how these guys bring some awareness to their show on what it's like to be half-black and half-white in America. You got the hard street voice when you want to come off hard to your peers and you got the "mannered" (not my words) voice when you go to a job interview. Dave Chapelle said it best when he said that "every black guy is bilingual". That's even truer for mixed people of color in this still very ethnically divided society. I hope this show does well on Comedy Central and fills that sketch-based comedy void in my heart I've had since the great Chapelle went off the air. These two guys were pretty much the only funny parts of the later years of Mad TV, after all.

What Up

What's up, Blog World. Welcome to my blog. My name is ******* or you can just call me ABG, which is short for "Angry Biracial Geek", which also happens to be the name of my blog. Isn't that lovely?

Anyway, before I start venting, let me tell you all a little about myself. First of all, I am a "geek". Not to be confused with being a "nerd", who are extremely knowledgeable in stuff that is actually useful to society like math, science, and whatever keeps Madonna looking remotely attractive. No, being a "geek" means that I'm knowledgeable in useless crap that is usually only appealing to other geeks like video games, comic books, and Doctor Who. So, basically I am very well informed in stuff that only weird people, like me, care about and none of this knowledge, unless I'm very lucky (which I never am), will ever benefit me in any way. Kinda sad, I know, but hey, at least I can recite every line to Batman: Mask of the Phantasm by heart. Yay for that.

Second of all, I am what you would call "biracial". My mother was white and my father is black. What this means is that my peers like to tease me for not talking black enough, while the mall security follows me around for not looking white enough. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that people still haven't come up with a better name for us instead of "mulatto". Well, we do have the presidency (for now), so I really shouldn't complain about my ethnicity too much... but still, mulatto is the best you guys can do? Really? Even half n half sounds better, and I put that crud in my coffee. But I digress.

Thirdly, growing up as both biracial and a geek, I have seen a lot of dumb things in this world that has made me upset. "Angry", if you will (Examples of this would be: Skyrim's load times, the "Green Lantern" movie, and white people asking me why can't they use the N word). I felt like a blog would help me vent on some of those things that really upset me in life, but also allow me to share some things that are of interest to me too, so that I won't bum you guys out too much. Hence the name of this blog. So without further a do... here's my super geeky blog with mixed race undertones. Enjoy and thanks for listening to my rants. Peace.

-ABG