Movie Hipsters

Hey there everyone. Time to jump on that old soapbox again.

I've been noticing a trend that's been going on on the internet, and that trend is "Movie Hipsters". For those of you that don't internet movie shit (and you'd be one of the lucky ones), "Movie Hipsters" are the types of people that find any reason they can to dislike a critically acclaimed movie in order to seem cool/smarter than they really are. They also tend to hate any/all remakes that come out, regardless of quality, and they try to make themselves look cool by saying that the original version, regardless of quality, is better because it was more "fun". That's what they always say; "more fun".


You can always tell Movie Hipsters apart from normal movie goers in that they always repeat the EXACT SAME REASON for not liking a movie as other hipsters. Example: Some people didn't like The Dark Knight (I know, we should seek out and kill all these people. I'm right there with you but I digress from my point). Some people felt that the 3rd act suffered from poor pacing, some people didn't like Christian Bale's Batman voice, some people felt Two-Face was underused, etc. These are all valid points, and thought TDK is my favorite movie of all time, I can understand these issues ruining the movie for a some folks. But Movie Hipsters don't ever list valid reasons for liking a movie. Instead each one of them lists exactly, word-for-word, the exact same reasons for not liking the movie; The Joker was exactly like Beetlejuice, and Burton's Batman was more "fun". Seriously every hipster says this. It's like they have meetings about this stuff or something. The same thing happens when you mention Captain America 1 or 2. They always say that "oh the 1990 one was more fun". And then when you observe said Movie Hipster when they actually watch a film, they're talking crap about it the whole time, rather than actually paying attention to the film. It's like they watch these things solely to be able to talk shit about.

The most recent victim of this trend is the 2014 remake of Godzilla, which came out this weekend. The movie is already critically acclaimed and doing very well at the box-office, but if you go on movie websites you see all these hipsters saying the exact same thing: That the 1998 version was more fun, Godzilla wasn't in it enough as he was in the originals, and the movie was "too realistic".

I just have to get one thing off my chest in response to that and everything else Movie Hipsters have to say:

*takes a deep breath*

I'm so sick of you hipsters repeating the exact same negative things about every new movie that you heard from other hipsters just so you seem cool. Don't you guys enjoy anything new? Anything at all, besides Wes Anderson movies? Why do you guys even bother going to the theaters if you're just going to over-analyze everything to the point where no film is ever going to meet your expectations. And I'm asking this as someone that actually got their BA in Cinema. If you didn't like the movie, that's cool. Art is Subjective, but don't go around trying to put us through this whole pretentious BS and go say that the crappy 1998 Godzilla movie was an excellent film. You just come off as someone trying tot spark controversy for the sake of it. 

Do you actually produce anything for society? Have you ever made your own movie, short film, etc. or do you just sit in your smelly armchair, sipping your PBR, listening to your pretentious alternative music while you bash Heath Ledger's performance because he's "putting too much into it" and then go on Facebook and write an essay of self-indulging babel that uses huge words that you got from Thesaurus.com that no human being ever uses when they speak to another human being, but you use to make you sound more educated than you actually are. They say that those that can't do review and that is just what your kind of people are. A useless piece of hypocritical, egotistical, human waste that enjoys eating their own seamen and telling everyone that you know more than them and yet you have less usable real-world skills than a dead, paw-less kitten. You all dress the same, act the same, and like the same things and you're dumb boring people for being that. Go jump in a lake and get eaten by a shark. So, basically go jump in a lake and then in an ocean that has a lot of sharks. Doesn't matter what kind of shark, just find one that will end you in a horrible way. I don't know why I said to jump in a lake first, it just sound cool at the time. You can actually just skip the lake part and just go get yourself eaten by a shark. Thank you very much.

OK, I'm done. So, how about that new Batfleck costume pic, huh?

;)